Pumpkin
by Becca the fiend
Summary: Apparently, Yuuko likes to adopt holidays at random in order to make more work for Watanuki. And then, on top of it all, she teases him mercilessly. The catch? This time, even Doumeki is laughing at him. Crack. Oneshot. Possible vague hints of DouWata.


Disclaimer: xxxHolic isn't mine. If it was, I wouldn't be writing this crap. ;_;

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In retrospect, Watanuki really should have seen this coming. For one thing, Yuuko did strange things such as this on a regular basis, and this holiday, despite being purely American, was a perfect excuse for her to do what she usually did, which was demand outrageous amounts of food from her part-timer worker/man slave. And, of course, she would've brought Doumeki along, too, because obviously demanding a whole feast in one day wasn't enough of a good time for Watanuki.

And note the heavy sarcasm on _that_ one.

However, through all the torture inflicted on his being, Watanuki could still see a silver lining to this particular cloud, which almost made up for it all.

"Watanuki-kun looks rather happy today. Usually he'd be complaining. Perhaps he's sick?"

"Watanuki? sick? Oh no! Mokona will fix him!"

"I'm not sick, dammit," the slender teen snapped, face once again morphing into his usual angry expression. The three (unwanted) guests sitting at the table watched him in amusement.

"But you are unusually happy today," Yuuko Ichihara, otherwise known as the Witch of Dimensions, countered. "And you haven't even seen Himawari-chan today, either."

Watanuki's expression once again changed into his 'Himawari-chan' face, which, admittedly, looked really super gay. But that's beside the point.

After a few minutes of super-flamer gushing about how cute Himawari was, Watanuki seemed to remember the fact that his guests, who were used to all of this by now, were expecting an answer from him, and he was still in the process of cooking dinner. With a sigh, he returned to cooking, letting his face fall back into a neutral expression.

"Well, I can't say I'm glad that you asked me to make a whole feast for American Thanksgiving, because who would be? But I get to make dessert, too," the teen said, checking a random pot on the stove.

"Oh? And what's so good about dessert?" Yuuko prodded, acting suspiciously interested in her part-timer's words.

"Well... I get to make pumpkin pie, and.. I really like pumpkin pie, okay?" Watanuki said rather quickly, cheeks tinged a light pink. Doumeki secretly thought it was cute, but said nothing, and Yuuko grinned as if Christmas had just come early, Mokona's expression matching hers. This didn't bode well.

"_Reaallly_, your favorite part of this is the pumpkin pie, Watanuki-kun?" Yuuko asked slyly.

"Yes...." Watanuki answered hesitantly, looking a little frightened, with good reason. A sly Yuuko was a very bad thing for him, indeed.

"Mokona, you should tell Doumeki that interesting fact we learned about pumpkin pie the other day~" the woman suggested to the black bunny thing. Said black bunny thing giggled, and hopped over to the still quiet archer, and whispered something in the golden-eyed teen's ear.

After hearing Mokona's words, Doumeki's lips turned upwards in a small smirk, which, for him, was like raucous laughter. Watanuki could almost swear he could hear a very quiet snort come from the taller teen, but he wasn't sure. He certainly hoped not. That would pretty much equal ultimate mortification for him, after all.

"Why are you guys al looking at me like that?" Watanuki asked worriedly after a few moments, beginning to feel extremely uncomfortable under all those slyly amused grins. Doumeki, still smirking, chose to answer the volatile teen.

"Apparently, girls like pumpkin a lot because it turns them on," he said bluntly, trying to suppress a snicker.

For a moment, Watanuki just looked at the others strangely, before the implications of his classmate's words sunk in. The blue-eyed teen flushed a vibrant red, and turned back to the food indignantly, causing Mokona and Yuuko to dissolve into peals of laughter at his expense.

"_Assholes._"

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AN: Someone I know mentioned this the other day at lunch, and then earlier today, I thought of xxxHolic, and then Thanksgiving (which is today for Americans) and then they connected and... yeah. It was kind of mandatory. And, I mean, the whole Yuuko demanding a Thanksgiving feast isn't that ridiculous of an idea. I mean.. a day devoted to eating. Pfft. I'd adopt it if I were from another country. I love food. But I digress.

I'm sorry I've rotted your brains with this. For all the people from the US reading this - Happy Thanksgiving. For everyone else - Happy Thursday. :3

I hope you enjoyed the crack. And I remembered Mokona this time! :D Expect more crack from me soon. And hopefully another chapter of Bar. And don't forget to review! Tell me whatever wen through your mind as you read this. I love reading my reviews, lol. Even if I don't reply. Fff, anyway. Until next time~


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